Abstract

Introduction

The beginning of 2020 coincides with the arrival of the Covid-19 pandemic in Brazil. The anticipation of an usual new year was suddenly taken out of the plans of millions of people around the globe. The population was suddenly forced to change their lifestyles and socially isolate themselves as a preventive measure. Feelings like fear and worry became more frequent. Meanwhile, the political and economic scenarios triggered several crises.

In this context, the discipline of Autoethnography began, in which students were asked to put together and share their autoethnographic productions about their experiences living through the pandemic.

Autoethnography blends individual narratives that explores how personal life experience can socially relate within institutions’ culture¹1 Ellis C, Bochner AP. Autoethnography, personal narrative, reflexivity. In: Denzin NK, Lincoln YS, editores. Handbook of qualitative research. 2a ed. Thousand Oaks: Sage; 2000. p. 733-68.^,22 Ellis C, Adams TE, Bochner AP. Autoethnography: an overview. Hist Soc Res. 2011; 36:273-90.. It can be understood as the confluence of the “autobiographical impulse” and the “ethnographic moment” where the autoethnographer enlightens the mechanisms of oppression and power in a given culture¹1 Ellis C, Bochner AP. Autoethnography, personal narrative, reflexivity. In: Denzin NK, Lincoln YS, editores. Handbook of qualitative research. 2a ed. Thousand Oaks: Sage; 2000. p. 733-68.^,33 Spry T. Performing autoethnography: an embodied methodological praxis. Qual Inq. 2001; 7(6):706-32.^,44 Raimondi GA, Moreira C, Brilhante AV, Barros NF. Autoetnografía performativa e investigación cualitativa en la Salud Colectiva: (des)encuentros método+lógicos. Cad Saude Publica. 2020; 36(12):e00095320.. This qualitative method is not just a way of getting to know the world, but also a way of being in the world. It requires living consciously, emotionally, reflectively and critically, evidencing knowledge embedded in experience and revealing aspects of cultural life inaccessible to conventional research⁴4 Raimondi GA, Moreira C, Brilhante AV, Barros NF. Autoetnografía performativa e investigación cualitativa en la Salud Colectiva: (des)encuentros método+lógicos. Cad Saude Publica. 2020; 36(12):e00095320.

5 Motta PMR, Barros NF. Handbook of autoethnography. Cad Saude Publica. 2015; 31(6):1339-40.

6 Jones SH, Adams TE, Ellis C. Handbook of autoethnography. Walnut Creek: Left Coast Press Inc; 2013.^-77 Custer D. Autoethnography as a transformative research method. Qual Rep. 2014; 19(37):1-13..

Autoethnography can be understood as a possibility of re-existence while being an individual (I, Self) facing and colliding into society as a collective group (ethno) through writing (graphy)⁴4 Raimondi GA, Moreira C, Brilhante AV, Barros NF. Autoetnografía performativa e investigación cualitativa en la Salud Colectiva: (des)encuentros método+lógicos. Cad Saude Publica. 2020; 36(12):e00095320.. Its goal is to amplify the possibilities of existence, breaking up with dualisms⁴4 Raimondi GA, Moreira C, Brilhante AV, Barros NF. Autoetnografía performativa e investigación cualitativa en la Salud Colectiva: (des)encuentros método+lógicos. Cad Saude Publica. 2020; 36(12):e00095320., such as researcher-subject, subject-object, them and me. By putting the researched-subject in this condition, autoethnography allows us to explore all the nuances of a person’s existence, without compartmentalization between study-work-person – no mutilations. It is humanity without reductionism, with all its controversies and its multiple facets.

Autoethnography has progressively gained recognition in the field of health education by developing crucial values and skills for professionals, teachers and students⁸8 Ramalho-de-Oliveira D. Overview and prospect of autoethnography in pharmacy education and practice. Am J Pharm Educ. 2020; 84(1):156-65.

9 Chang H. Autoethnography in health research: growing pains? Qual Health Res. 2016; 26(4):443-51. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1177/1049732315627432.
https://doi.org/10.1177/1049732315627432... ^-1010 Mendonça SAM, Freitas EL, Ramalho-de-Oliveira D. Competencies for the provision of comprehensive medication management services in an experiential learning project. PLoS One. 2017; 12(9):e0185415. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0185415.
https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.018... , promoting an empathetic engagement that moves people to action¹¹11 Alexander BK. Performance ethnography: the reenacting and inciting of culture. In: Denzin NK, Lincoln Y, editors. The SAGE handbook of qualitative research. Thousand Oaks: SAGE; 2005. p. 411-42. apud Raimondi GA, Moreira C, Brilhante AV, Barros NF. Autoetnografía performativa e investigación cualitativa en la Salud Colectiva: (des)encuentros método+lógicos. Cad Saude Publica. 2020; 36(12):e00095320. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1590/0102-311X00095320.. It enables a deeper understanding of the social and cultural determinants of health, revealing aspects of the illness, encouraging empathy and improving the problem-solving capacity in patient care⁴4 Raimondi GA, Moreira C, Brilhante AV, Barros NF. Autoetnografía performativa e investigación cualitativa en la Salud Colectiva: (des)encuentros método+lógicos. Cad Saude Publica. 2020; 36(12):e00095320.^,88 Ramalho-de-Oliveira D. Overview and prospect of autoethnography in pharmacy education and practice. Am J Pharm Educ. 2020; 84(1):156-65.^,1212 Vieira IM, Ramalho-de-Oliveira D, Mendonça SAM, Ribeiro MA. Experiência subjetiva com medicamentos de pacientes convivendo com o câncer de mama: um fotovoz. Rev Bras Cancerol. 2018; 64(2):167-75.

13 Silva DAM, Mendonça SAM, O’Dougherty M, Ramalho-de-Oliveira D, Chemello C. Autoethnography as an instrument for professional (trans)formation in pharmaceutical care practice. Qual Rep. 2017; 22(11):2926-42.

14 Fleming-Castaldy RP. A macro perspective for client-centred practice in curricula: Critique and teaching methods. Scand J Occup Ther. 2015; 22(4):267-76. Doi: https://doi.org/10.3109/11038128.2015.1013984.
https://doi.org/10.3109/11038128.2015.10...

15 Gallé J, Lingard L. A medical student’s perspective of participation in an interprofessional education placement: an autoethnography. J Interprof Care. 2010; 24(6):722-33.^-1616 Gama F. A autoetnografia como método criativo: experimentações com a esclerose múltipla. An Antropol. 2020; 45(2):188-208..

Within this context, this article aimed to understand the experience of three graduate students with the autoethnography course during the initial period of the Covid-19 pandemic, through the investigation of their autoethnographic productions.

Methodology

Collaborative analytical-interpretive autoethnography was used as methodology¹1 Ellis C, Bochner AP. Autoethnography, personal narrative, reflexivity. In: Denzin NK, Lincoln YS, editores. Handbook of qualitative research. 2a ed. Thousand Oaks: Sage; 2000. p. 733-68.^,22 Ellis C, Adams TE, Bochner AP. Autoethnography: an overview. Hist Soc Res. 2011; 36:273-90.^,1717 Ellis C. The ethnographic I: a methodological novel about autoethnography. Walnut Creek: AltaMira; 2004., based on the autoethnographic creations made by the three graduate students who attended the Autoethnography course, between March and May 2020. The productions consisted of evocative personal narratives, poetry, dialogues, descriptive or analytical texts, as well as photographs, audio files, performances and dance.

This study was approved by the Research Ethics Committee of the Federal University of Minas Gerais under registration CAAE-25780314.4.0000.5149.

Results and discussion

In the analysis of the productions on the meaning of experiencing the pandemic, three categories stood out: therapeutic practice, decolonial practice and teaching practice, as shown in Figure 1.

Autoethnography as a therapeutic practice

Getting through the pandemic

These fragments reveal feelings that emerged from the writings, such as the constant tensions caused by the fear of contagion, the encounters with finitude and the consequent mental suffering. Uncertainties about the future, accompanied by feelings of revolt and impotence, are equally frequent in the reports. It is important to remember that the pandemic highlights conflicts in the governmental, cultural, social and economic spheres, aspects dear to the research for social justice provided by autoethnography¹⁸18 Ramos CEPL, Pinto ISR, Guimarães JG, Costa LS, Souza LM, Branco LMC, et al. O bem-estar subjetivo da comunidade estudantil do IFB em tempos de pandemia. Brasília: Ministério da Educação; 2020..

Living the pandemic in the Brazilian context is an unprecedented challenge. On one hand, we have low rates of adherence to social distancing measures, neglect, ignorance and the sharing of fake news¹⁹19 Kind L, Cordeiro R. Narrativas sobre a morte: a gripe espanhola e a Covid-19 no Brasil. Psicol Soc. 2020; 32:e020004. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1590/1807-0310/2020v32240740.
https://doi.org/10.1590/1807-0310/2020v3... . On the other hand, we have a negligent government, the denial of scientific knowledge, and neoliberal ideation. A(n) (un)government that to date has not drawn up any efficient economic recovery plan or curb the still growing number of deaths¹⁹19 Kind L, Cordeiro R. Narrativas sobre a morte: a gripe espanhola e a Covid-19 no Brasil. Psicol Soc. 2020; 32:e020004. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1590/1807-0310/2020v32240740.
https://doi.org/10.1590/1807-0310/2020v3... ^,2020 Caponi S. Covid-19 no Brasil: entre o negacionismo e a razão neoliberal. Estud Av. 2020; 34(99):209-24. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1590/s0103-4014.2020.3499.013.
https://doi.org/10.1590/s0103-4014.2020.... . There are already more than 21 million registered cases of infected individuals and more than 607,000 deaths. And the numbers continue to grow²¹21 Brasil. Ministério da Saúde. Painel de casos de doença pelo coronavírus 2019 (Covid-19) no Brasil pelo Ministério da Saúde. Brasília: Ministério da Saúde; 2021. (data updated on 02.11.2021).

Allied to the external and collective environment that creates more and more disorder and backtracking, there is also an internal and individual environment that becomes disorganized through the interruption of professional and personal activities, as well as future plans and possibilities.

In the photograph shown in Figure 2, an open space with a sea of hills dyed in different colors, which repeated itself in the sky. The beauty of the image contrasts with the dominant presence of barbed wire in the foreground. The possibility of freedom brings a risk, which in this photograph are the possible cuts on flesh, and in real life is translated as the possibility of viral contagion.

Figure 3 shows excerpts from a performance based on the autoethnographic poem below, Umbra Sand (Areia Umbra). The performance evokes feelings that take on unimaginable proportions, connecting us to the current unbridled and irreparable destruction. The large number of deaths is evidenced, resulting from the negligence of the government and the population with public health and safety recommendations. The use of candles, smoke and paint alludes to the carbonization of meat. The sign of death glows hooded, and the words spoken refer to an exaggeratedly dark experience, as exemplified by the excerpt below.

These productions show the vortex of feelings experienced during the pandemic, which contributed to the aggravation of mental and emotional health problems, potentializing the existing challenges. It is possible to notice that, although subjectivity may be isolated, it is also irrevocably related to the community, sometimes in the feeling of a shared pain, sometimes in the process of being affected by others’ actions (and omissions). In the next session, focused on autoethnography as a decolonial practice, it will be discussed how this pain, despite being collective, ends up having a different impact on distinct social groups, aggravating vulnerabilities even further.

The experience of confinement in isolated cells with the construction of walls between individuals dissolves the notion of the whole, transforming human potencies into real powerlessness in the face of fear and stress generated by the need for unmet connection²²22 Anta Félez J-L, Grana R. Instantáneas de una pandemia. Mirar en un régimen de confinamiento. RCyS. 2020; 10(2):287-300. Doi: https://doi.org/10.35669/rcys.2020.10(2).287-300.
https://doi.org/10.35669/rcys.2020.10(2)... .

In Figure 4, there is an allusion to imprisonment. A man behind bars contradicts the open field behind him, representing the possibility of being at liberty while paradoxically reminding us of its impossibility. The image refers to loneliness and segregation, recurring feelings in the pandemic. The gray tones match an apathetic body expression with almost inexpressive eyes.

Connections that breaks through isolation

During the course, the intimacy between students and professors grew along the exposure of delicate and even intimate situations, having our subjectivities recognized and interconnected⁷7 Custer D. Autoethnography as a transformative research method. Qual Rep. 2014; 19(37):1-13..

Feeling as an “island” here means feeling isolated from the collective. It is a feeling of not belonging and not being understood by others, like the experience of living in isolated cells²²22 Anta Félez J-L, Grana R. Instantáneas de una pandemia. Mirar en un régimen de confinamiento. RCyS. 2020; 10(2):287-300. Doi: https://doi.org/10.35669/rcys.2020.10(2).287-300.
https://doi.org/10.35669/rcys.2020.10(2)... . Such feelings are transformed when we find safe spaces for sharing, where it is possible to feel loved and legitimized.

Feeling understood, safe, free to express oneself, competent and belonging to a collective are human beings basic social needs²³23 Young JE, Klosko JS. Reinvente sua vida. Pazzin RB, tradutor. 2a ed. Novo Hamburgo: Synopsys; 2020.. The Brazilian pandemic context creates a distortion of this right. At the same time, the technical training of pharmacists erases the subjectivity of these students, and also of patients, as soon as the trained professional enters the job market. A curriculum that does not allow self expression and connection can favor the deterioration of mental health, in addition to contributing to the professional’s alienation from social and cultural issues. Spaces like the one created in this course are necessary so that pharmacists do not become self-absorbed professionals, oblivious to different experiences.

The academic environment is a space where prejudice and harassment can coexist²⁴24 Raimondi GA, Moreira C, Barros NF. O corpo negado pela sua “extrema subjetividade”: expressões da colonialidade do saber na ética em pesquisa. Interface (Botucatu). 2019; 23:e180434. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1590/interface.180434.
https://doi.org/10.1590/interface.180434... ^,2525 Pheko MM. Autoethnography and cognitive adaptation: two powerful buffers against the negative consequences of workplace bullying and academic mobbing. Int J Qual Stud Health Well-being. 2018; 13(1):1459134. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1080/17482631.2018.1459134.
https://doi.org/10.1080/17482631.2018.14... , favoring the isolation of the individual that can be aggravated in remote education. The non-hierarchical didactic experience in the course contrasts with the conventionally panoptic experience of pharmaceutical teaching environments, where relations of power and control distance students from the authentic human relationships. In contrast, freedom, sense of belonging and increased creative potential that Autoethnography provides were lived, resulting in a therapeutic experience⁸8 Ramalho-de-Oliveira D. Overview and prospect of autoethnography in pharmacy education and practice. Am J Pharm Educ. 2020; 84(1):156-65.^,1212 Vieira IM, Ramalho-de-Oliveira D, Mendonça SAM, Ribeiro MA. Experiência subjetiva com medicamentos de pacientes convivendo com o câncer de mama: um fotovoz. Rev Bras Cancerol. 2018; 64(2):167-75.^,2626 Smith C. Epistemological Intimacy: a move to autoethnography. Int J Qual Methods. 2005; 4(2):68-76. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1177/160940690500400206.
https://doi.org/10.1177/1609406905004002... .

A miraculous remedy

Reflective autoethnographic investigation consists of making investigations out of experiences, using personal experience to express a larger psychological body, composed of a socio-political-cultural world intertwined by power relations that shape everyone¹⁷17 Ellis C. The ethnographic I: a methodological novel about autoethnography. Walnut Creek: AltaMira; 2004.. The process of analyzing the experience through autoethnography can change the perceptions of the same experience during the process of writing. This can be related to the therapeutic process²⁷27 Richardson L. Autoethnography, personal narrative, reflexivity. In: Denzin NK, Lincoln YS, editores. Handbook of qualitative research. 2nd ed. Thousand Oaks: SAGE Publications; 2000., in addition to broadened understanding of a studied phenomenon and new enabled perspectives²⁸28 Wall S. An autoethnography on learning about autoethnography. Int J Qual Methods. 2006; 5(2):146-60. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1177/160940690600500205.
https://doi.org/10.1177/1609406906005002... , providing new meanings to feelings and suffering in a regenerative way.

The attitude of observing oneself perceiving one’s own reality is understood as metacognition, and is closely linked to intelligence. Reflective practice exercises and expands metacognition, better preparing students, professionals and researchers²⁹29 Livingston JA. Metacognition: an overview [Internet]. 2003 [citado 13 Dez 2020]. Disponível em: https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED474273.pdf
https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/ED474... to critically view their own reality, encouraging its transformation.

The logotherapeutic view³⁰30 Esping A. Autoethnography as logotherapy: an existential analysis of meaningful social science inquiry. Int J Educ Res. 2013; 9(1):59-67.^,3131 Frankl VE. Em busca de sentido: um psicólogo no campo de concentração. 44a ed. Petrópolis: Vozes; 2018., focused on the awareness of one’s own life, contributes to explaining the therapeutic impact of Autoethnography, since this awareness helps maintain mental health by increasing self-understanding and the appreciation of self-worth.

Autoethnographic productions were sometimes a way to seek meaning and acceptance during the pandemic²⁶26 Smith C. Epistemological Intimacy: a move to autoethnography. Int J Qual Methods. 2005; 4(2):68-76. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1177/160940690500400206.
https://doi.org/10.1177/1609406905004002... ^,3232 Hodgins M, Boydell KM. Interrogating ourselves: reflections on arts-based health research. Forum Qual Soc Res. 2014; 15(1):e-10. Doi: https://doi.org/10.17169/fqs-15.1.2018.
https://doi.org/10.17169/fqs-15.1.2018...

33 Malhotra P. An autoethnographic journey of intercountry adoption. Qual Rep. 2013; 18(63):1-13.^-3434 Raab D. Transpersonal approaches to autoethnographic research and writing. Qual Rep. 2013; 18(42):1-19.. Different artistic forms emerged, functioning either as raw data or data analysis, deepening the research.

Stahlke Wall²⁸28 Wall S. An autoethnography on learning about autoethnography. Int J Qual Methods. 2006; 5(2):146-60. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1177/160940690600500205.
https://doi.org/10.1177/1609406906005002... describes her discomfort with various autoethnographic materials and asks “how does therapy make a sociological contribution?” According to this author, the resolution of personal issues must occur in a context totally different from an academic attempt to add social knowledge. Some authors, by using autoethnography therapeutically, could employ evocative devices to intensify personal experiences, which would limit the possibility of criticizing this specific type of academic production as it could become an ethical issue. How to criticize such an important and excruciating experience so as not to underestimate the personal experience of an author?

The therapeutic benefit can be both a goal and a consequence resulting from the autoethnographic process, as perceived through the analysis of the course productions. However, this question raised by Wall is valid and important, since this style of research can be used in a narcissistic way³⁵35 Anderson L. Analytic autoethnography. J Contemp Ethnogr. 2006; 35(4):373-95. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1177/0891241605280449.
https://doi.org/10.1177/0891241605280449... .

Autoethnography as a decolonial practice

Autoethnography revealed cultural aspects that were hidden, analyzing discourses, questioning power relations in family, academic and also collective spheres. Questioning the established social order provokes subjective movements of oppressed cultures, bringing to debate silenced discourses, unveiling the oppressive patterns that shape us, deconstructing hegemonic, colonialist, racist and patriarchal practices, subverting the order of power, seeing the other, not as another, but as part of their own humanity, decolonizing thoughts and practices¹1 Ellis C, Bochner AP. Autoethnography, personal narrative, reflexivity. In: Denzin NK, Lincoln YS, editores. Handbook of qualitative research. 2a ed. Thousand Oaks: Sage; 2000. p. 733-68.

2 Ellis C, Adams TE, Bochner AP. Autoethnography: an overview. Hist Soc Res. 2011; 36:273-90.^-33 Spry T. Performing autoethnography: an embodied methodological praxis. Qual Inq. 2001; 7(6):706-32.^,3636 Mbembe A. Necropolítica: biopoder, soberania, estado de exceção, política da morte. Rev PPGAV/EBA/UFRJ. 2016; 32:122-51.^,3737 Kilomba G. Memórias da plantação episódios de racismo cotidiano. Rio de Janeiro: Cobogó; 2019..

The voices from the margins

Autoethnography is a methodology aligned with decolonial principles as it reveals marginal voices that have long called for an epistemology that transgresses the colonialist discourse and puts power relations in check³3 Spry T. Performing autoethnography: an embodied methodological praxis. Qual Inq. 2001; 7(6):706-32.. The perspective presented by autoethnography finds echoes in the epistemologies of the South, as it seeks to expand the conceptions of existence in the world and expand the investigative and comprehensive capacities of the sciences³⁷37 Kilomba G. Memórias da plantação episódios de racismo cotidiano. Rio de Janeiro: Cobogó; 2019. based on subaltern knowledge. Southern epistemologies aim to deconstruct the epistemicide caused by northern science, based on stereotypes, as these limit reality, telling the story from the colonizer’s perspective and thus, allowing the maintenance of neocolonialism³⁸38 Miglievich-Ribeiro A. Intelectuais e epistemologia crítica latino-americana do anti-colonial ao decolonial. Rassegna Iberistica. 2016; 39(105):117-28..

Autoethnography brings social actors who do not belong to privileged groups to the center of the debate in academic environments that hold a legacy of white, cis-heterosexual, bourgeois and patriarchal hegemony²⁴24 Raimondi GA, Moreira C, Barros NF. O corpo negado pela sua “extrema subjetividade”: expressões da colonialidade do saber na ética em pesquisa. Interface (Botucatu). 2019; 23:e180434. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1590/interface.180434.
https://doi.org/10.1590/interface.180434... ^,3838 Miglievich-Ribeiro A. Intelectuais e epistemologia crítica latino-americana do anti-colonial ao decolonial. Rassegna Iberistica. 2016; 39(105):117-28.. This study echoed the subaltern voices that were able to express their indignation against racism and sexism. Hate speeches that were already present in the socio-political scenario, but which amidst the pandemic and confinement found more forceful and oppressive manifestations.

The pandemic, biopolitics and necropolitics

The speeches of hate and intolerance that took over our society had an impact on the students’ reflections. Science is brought to debate, and it promises to facilitate problem solving. However, the experiences raised in the classroom resonated in the general observation of the disregard for public health, the state of social welfare and science itself, which is distorted by neoliberal interests that make use of biopolitics³⁹39 Beiguelman G. A pandemia das imagens: retóricas visuais e biopolíticas do mundo covídico. Rev Latinoam Psicopatol Fundam. 2020; 23(3):549-63. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1590/1415-4714.2020v23n3p549.7.
https://doi.org/10.1590/1415-4714.2020v2... ^,4040 Ferreira MM, Rodrigues RAF. A biopolítica da pandemia e seu impacto no cotidiano. Rev CEAM. 2020; 6(1):20-9. Doi: https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.3953117.
https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.3953117... by stimulating the use of hydroxychloroquine despite scientific evidence disapproving its indication for the treatment of infection by coronavirus³⁹39 Beiguelman G. A pandemia das imagens: retóricas visuais e biopolíticas do mundo covídico. Rev Latinoam Psicopatol Fundam. 2020; 23(3):549-63. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1590/1415-4714.2020v23n3p549.7.
https://doi.org/10.1590/1415-4714.2020v2... .

The bolsonarist discourse prioritizes the defense of the economy at the expense of health recommendations when it states “Brazil cannot stop”³⁹39 Beiguelman G. A pandemia das imagens: retóricas visuais e biopolíticas do mundo covídico. Rev Latinoam Psicopatol Fundam. 2020; 23(3):549-63. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1590/1415-4714.2020v23n3p549.7.
https://doi.org/10.1590/1415-4714.2020v2...

40 Ferreira MM, Rodrigues RAF. A biopolítica da pandemia e seu impacto no cotidiano. Rev CEAM. 2020; 6(1):20-9. Doi: https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.3953117.
https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.3953117... ^-4141 Abrucio FL, Grin EJ, Franzese C, Segatto CI, Couto CG. Combate à Covid-19 sob o federalismo bolsonarista: um caso de descoordenação intergovernamental. Rev Adm Publica. 2020; 54(4):663-77. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1590/0034-761220200354.
https://doi.org/10.1590/0034-76122020035... . Soon the flock of this electorate moves by not respecting social isolation and adhering to the false promise of miraculous medicines, evidencing the instrumentalized movement of biopower³⁶36 Mbembe A. Necropolítica: biopoder, soberania, estado de exceção, política da morte. Rev PPGAV/EBA/UFRJ. 2016; 32:122-51.^,4242 Foucault M. Em defesa da sociedade: curso no College de France (1975-1976). São Paulo: Martins Fontes; 1999. that outlines a suicidal and homicidal State, at the same time. In this State, black and poor bodies are the most vulnerable. In addition to raising the direct risk of contamination, it engenders deaths due to underinvestment in public policies, thus forging necropolitics³⁶36 Mbembe A. Necropolítica: biopoder, soberania, estado de exceção, política da morte. Rev PPGAV/EBA/UFRJ. 2016; 32:122-51.. The State defines who dies, as it defines who is not worthy of receiving interventions in order to be saved⁴³43 Rago M. “Estar na hora do mundo”: subjetividade e política em Foucault e nos feminismos. Interface (Botucatu). 2019; 23:e180515. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1590/interface.180515.
https://doi.org/10.1590/interface.180515... ^,4444 Silva Junior JR, Fargoni EHE. Bolsonarismo: a necropolítica brasileira como pacto entre fascistas e neoliberais. Rev Eletronica Educ. 2020; 14:1-26. Doi: https://doi.org/10.14244/198271994533.
https://doi.org/10.14244/198271994533... , with the goal of ensuring the best for those who are already full of rights.

The pandemics and family relationships

Both biopolitics and necropolitics provoke repercussions that are perceived within the family environment. Complex relationships and antagonistic feelings build up the domestic scenario, sometimes evidencing the valuation of bonds and sometimes evidencing conflicts. Families are divided by the socio-political-sanitary context. Families that historically have never had access to higher education, in which one or another member has only recently had access to an undergraduate degree. The critical education acquired at the university is perceived by students as a re-existence of the current government’s discourse that took over the country’s cultural scenario. On one hand, we have pharmacists in graduate school equipped with high-quality scientific evidence. On the other hand, we have our loving relatives, (un)informed by fake news on social networks.

The decision to maintain social distancing is no longer only an attitude towards collective health, but also a flag of political positioning and, consequently, a reason for family disagreements⁴¹41 Abrucio FL, Grin EJ, Franzese C, Segatto CI, Couto CG. Combate à Covid-19 sob o federalismo bolsonarista: um caso de descoordenação intergovernamental. Rev Adm Publica. 2020; 54(4):663-77. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1590/0034-761220200354.
https://doi.org/10.1590/0034-76122020035... . Ambiguous feelings of love, frustration and misunderstanding permeate domestic life.

Among the students, there are those who work on the front lines, fighting Covid-19, and who still have to do their utmost to take care of household chores, take care of their families and the formal education of their children. This reality, which was no longer free from conflicts, is intensified by the pandemic, magnifying the occurrence of domestic violence.

The autoethnographic approach involves researching what happens in the cultural environment of the researcher, an epistemology centered on the subject and from the perspective of that subject³⁷37 Kilomba G. Memórias da plantação episódios de racismo cotidiano. Rio de Janeiro: Cobogó; 2019.. The texts are still full of problems of those who inhabit the margins, who experience the conflict with the dominant power, now aggravated by Covid-19.

One of the texts studied in the classes addressed the theme of abusive relationships⁴⁷47 Olson LN. The role of voice in the (re)construction of a battered woman’s identity: an autoethnography of one woman’s experiences of abuse. Womens Stud Commun. 2020; 22(1):1-33. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1080/07491409.2004.10162464.
https://doi.org/10.1080/07491409.2004.10... and had repercussions in the scholar community. Two students who were in abusive relationships, now accentuated by social distancing, became aware of their own domestic realities. The reflections in the classroom were decisive for these people to be able to free themselves from such relationships.

Understanding the culture in which we are immersed is essential to understand how we are influenced and influence this social web⁴²42 Foucault M. Em defesa da sociedade: curso no College de France (1975-1976). São Paulo: Martins Fontes; 1999.. The production of knowledge was a living force that expanded the comprehension of the complexities and controversies that living the pandemic represents. In this sense, autoethnography stretched the web of knowledge production, bringing to light the lived experience of marginal people who resonated with others who also shared this experience.

Autoethnography as a teaching practice

The Autoethnography course promoted personal expression through textual and non-textual productions, applying the concepts and techniques studied. This pedagogical scenario nurtured self-reflectiveness, freedom and creativity. Everyone was invited to present their work to the class and receive feedback from the audience, made up of doctors, pharmacists and educators.

Bochner⁴⁸48 Bochner AP. It’s about time: narrative and the divided self. Qual Inq. 1997; 3(4):418-38. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1177/107780049700300404.
https://doi.org/10.1177/1077800497003004... describes how the existence of an abyss between the “academic self” and the “personal self” promotes isolation and inhibits risk-taking and changes in the institutional environment of universities. The manifestation of the students’ “personal self” in the academic environment promoted a break with this pattern through open listening and dialogue, often nonexistent in other contexts of students’ lives.

This experience of communitarial proximity was particularly relevant along the duration of the course, coinciding with the beginning of the Covid-19 pandemic and social distancing. The experience of contact, connection and learning, described by students as superior to most of the classes attended presentially, shows that this is an appropriate methodology for distance learning and can shape a fruitful community for teaching-learning.

By encouraging reflective, creative and autonomous investigative practice, autoethnography placed students at the center of the discourse, considering their lived and embodied reality, breaking the usual academic limits of automatic repetition of concepts imposed from a “supposedly neutral and unhistorical scientific gaze”⁴⁹49 Almeida DERG, Müller RP, Francia PNR, Osielski TPO, Diniz T. Autoetnografia como estratégia decolonizadora de ensino sobre o cotidiano em Terpia Ocupacional. Interface (Botucatu). 2020; 24:e190122. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1590/Interface.190122.
https://doi.org/10.1590/Interface.190122... .

Reflective practice in education is a way of developing a critical conscience, making students aware of the webs of oppression that surround others and themselves. From there, it becomes easier to break power systems, transgress the limits imposed by the status quo, decolonizing education, but also our own existence. Thus, autoethnography can aid health professionals on becoming more committed to comprehend care and inclusion, rupturing with structures of domination³3 Spry T. Performing autoethnography: an embodied methodological praxis. Qual Inq. 2001; 7(6):706-32.^,1111 Alexander BK. Performance ethnography: the reenacting and inciting of culture. In: Denzin NK, Lincoln Y, editors. The SAGE handbook of qualitative research. Thousand Oaks: SAGE; 2005. p. 411-42. apud Raimondi GA, Moreira C, Brilhante AV, Barros NF. Autoetnografía performativa e investigación cualitativa en la Salud Colectiva: (des)encuentros método+lógicos. Cad Saude Publica. 2020; 36(12):e00095320. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1590/0102-311X00095320.^,4545 Diversi M, Moreira C. Performing betweener autoethnographies against persistent us/them essentializing: leaning on a Freirean pedagogy of hope. Qual Inq. 2016; 22(7):581-7. Doi: https://doi.org/10.1177/1077800415617208.
https://doi.org/10.1177/1077800415617208... .

The concept of education adopted was also relevant to the teaching-learning process. A dialogic and respectful environment was created between students and teachers. Love and joy were part of the learning process, as recommended by Paulo Freire⁵⁰50 Freire P. Pedagogia da Autonomia: saberes necessários à prática educativa. São Paulo: Paz e Terra; 1996. (Coleção Leitura)..

In this context, at the end of the course, instead of celebrating it, the students were upset, and many asked the teachers to carry on the encounters, which is not usual in other academic disciplines.

The students’ and teachers’ writings naturally established connections with other people inside the class, outside the class, alongside with the context of the pharmacy profession, and with broader contexts, like the country and the world. This construction allowed the building of knowledge without reductionisms, drawing back to Morin’s theory on the impossibility of reflecting on “the shattered knowledge”, working with complex knowledge that alternates in scrutiny, compartmentalization and synthesis, without reducing the part to the whole nor the whole to the part⁵¹51 Almeida-da-Silva E. O modelo de ensino em saúde e o estudo de caso integrativo como possibilidade interdisciplinar. Cienc Saude Colet. 2006; 3(9).. The self and the collectivity were constantly placed in dialogue, as exemplified by the following excerpt.

(In)Conclusions

The investigation of the autoethnographic productions of the three students in the autoetnography course revealed clear resonances between their particular experiences and the human experience of living the Covid-19 pandemic in Brazil, highlighting the cultural, therapeutic and decolonial aspects that this methodology offers.

As autoethnography is a methodology that promotes a dialogue between the individual and the collective, mediated by a temporal and cultural context, the current article intends to encourage other reflections and discussions, not having the purpose of closing in on itself. From the results presented, some significant aspects will be highlighted, which represent the main contributions of this study in the construction of knowledge.

The students’ experience with autoethnography humanized the academic environment, promoting a regenerating, didactic, non-hierarchical and decentralizing experience, which enabled the free expression of students and the interconnection of conventional sciences with arts and culture. Thus, it corresponded to the practice of authentic education advocated by Paulo Freire, which is not limited to the exhaustive repetition of knowledge considered neutral, but brings marginalized voices to the center of the debate.

This work indicates that the inclusion of autoethnographic courses or even the incorporation of autoethnographic methodology in courses that already exist in the curriculum can benefit undergraduate and graduate health programs, especially in the field of pharmacy, which is historically technocentric. This innovation helps to train more reflective and critical professionals, promoting cultural and humanistic skills for a more person-centered care, with the goal of including and breaking away with systems of oppression. The potential of this methodology is reiterated as a disruptive scientific research practice in the health field and with great potential to unveil reality from non-hegemonic perspectives such as race, gender, class, as well as perspectives that go beyond cis-heteronormativity including the views of professionals, apprentices or patients.

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